I've been cycling uphill. And because I didn't know which way I wanted to go, I started without much energy at all. Now I'm stuck on the slope and it's getting increasingly difficult to continue going up. I don't want to waste time and energy trying to keep on pedalling, because I know I won't make it, and it seems much more practical to just give up, start again, and this time put in the energy to give myself the momentum.

I feel like going to TP Open House alone, and talk to the lecturers, and make a good first impression right from the start. Make them think hey, this girl knows what she wants, and she's going to be pretty good at it, and then I'll smile and say, see you in May. And they will see me in May and remember me and I will have a fantastic relationship with my lecturers (which I think is really important) unlike what's happening now.

I feel like it's so useless going to school because I've decided that I'm not going to stay, and all I'm doing in school is stone in lectures, not taking in anything at all, and I'm not enjoying that at all. It's like I'm learning all these things and I'm not going to apply them because I'm not actually taking it in and dammit I just want to do things. I think I'd learn much more if I go and work now.

I'm going to miss people though.