My mother suggested that Ronald Susilo bribed Lin Dan. I told her no, I refuse to believe that.

I will admit that the thought did cross my mind. After all, Lin Dan is world number one and expected to win. But if it was pride and honour that Ronald is after... what pride and honour is there in bribery? If he only wants the medal for the money, then I will be very sad. And there must not be bribery involved, because if Ronald doesn't want his Intergrity And Honour, Lin Dan would. The top seed and world number one knocked out in the first round... why would Lin Dan give up the match willingly? Therefore I refuse to think that Ronald didn't win on his own ability.

[Yes. I like first names, especially Ronald. Got problem issit?]

Anyway, I have penned a cheer for him. Brace yourself.

GO GO GO
SU SI LO
BEAT YOUR FOE
GET THE GOLD!

Okay, so I am not the world's greatest writer of rhyming four-liners, but it is the thought that counts, no? ^^;

Moving on, here is a parody of Chinese sort-of-but-not-really Lord Of The Rings crossover fic. It is a Chinese sort-of-but-not-really Harry Potter crossover fic extract about overcoming your fears.

“蜘蛛！蜘蛛要我跳踢踏舞！”
“啊。”
“我不想跳踢踏舞！”
“你告诉蜘蛛！”
“……好，我会的。”

Many apologies.

Here, have some jokes to tell your friends so that they'll think you're cool.

What did the tofu say to the waiter who took away his tea?
O, F U!

What did Mao do when he saw a pretty girl?
He took a Great Leap Forward!

These aren't my jokes, I will not be held accountable for their effects.

Goodnight!