This Is A Rare Meaningful Post

Okay not say very meaningful per se, but more erm. Self reflection.

Often I think about posting shit like this because I don't believe in putting something up and then getting upset that people read it. Makes no logical sense. So before I write something here I have to know I want to say it. It's why there are such stupid and meaningless posts here all the time - I want to blog, but I don't know what I should say here.

So recently I know I've been promising many things. And then not delivering. I hate it that I make empty promises and I want to change, I really do. I won't even give my excuses, valid or not. I'll just say now, that if I've promised you something and not done it, or owed you something and not given it back, or annoyed you or angered you or made you think I was a stupid fucker, I'm sorry.

I'm not a stupid fucker, I'm a blur, tired, lazy, and insecure little girl who wants to be somebody she can be but is not (yet).

I feel like I've wronged so many people. I'm sorry.

It's like I'm not sure if I'd even be friends with myself.

*

And now I shall list 10 awesome careers!

1. Concert producer. Uncle Rafi was talking about all the concerts he's crewed for and stuff, and it is so awesome cool.
2. Actress. I auditioned for this young-mother-who-has-an-affair-with-some-guy-she-met-online-because-her-husband-doesn't-fulfill-her-emotional-needs role for some HD drama. I don't think I got it, but these are the sort of roles Singapore needs to have more of lol. Not distressed/upset/angst/angst/angst teenage roles. And comedy roles. ):
3. Sports broadcast producer! ZOMG no need to say more.
4. Filmmaker. Yes.
5. Magazine cover/layout designer.
6. Photojournalist.
7. Concert/fashion photographer.
8. Travel journalist!!!
9. Comedy singer/songwriter. Just like Stephen Lynch.
10. Animator. That would be Si Teh Awesome.