inadequate

So I know I can actually sing things on the spot, and I had a chance to do it, but I blew it, because I am too slow and too scared and not funny at all.

I can't even sing a third line of da doo ron ron. I can't fucking do it even though I want so so so SO much to. I can't relax; these guys are so good and I can't even have a consistent sort of accent because I'm torn between sounding good and melodic, or something, and sounding like a I-Speak-Good-English-But-You-Know,-I'm-Still-Singaporean Singaporean.

Maybe it's about breaking impressions. I haven't been a very funny/wild/talented thing around them, and I'm so scared to break past that because I don't know what they would think. I'm not asking for advice here because I know what everyone is going to say. I don't even know if I can be a funny/wild/talented thing any more. It's like I only can when it doesn't matter.

Anyhow, I think I've lost my imagination.