Forgive my incoherence, I am still woozy

I'm at my neighbour Melody's house now. Was crying like shit just now because my mum just blew everything for me.

I'd had 40% alcohol bacardi at Mel's place earlier, and my mum kept calling me to go home, and when I did obviously I was all red and reeking of alcohol, and she scolded me and she was also pissed because I'd worn my new boots out and I was supposed to keep them until new year.

And then she said that I was never to drink again until I turned 21.

Wtf.

I'd already gone all teary on Randall earlier because I was trying to think why ____ didn't like me, plus I wasn't going to see Philip tonight. And then this seriously made me cry like fuck; I went downstairs and bawled and then my dad came down and I yelled and screamed and hit the table and I was just completely out of it.

I can't take it that my mum probably wants me to be all pure and good (she said something about a goody-two-shoes image that I should have) when I really am not. It's too late for me to be pure and good; my poly friends have corrupted me, and it's not a bad thing. At all. I love my poly friends, and nothing I do is hurting me and if it was I would find out how to remedy that.

So I'm sleeping in Melody's room tonight because I don't want to go home.

My room, with the floor full of Christmas presents (wrapped and unwrapped), is not habitable anyway.